From time to time, I like to ponder aloud about my journey through creativity. With each passing year, my experience grows, but so do the questions.
In this case, about myself, my life path, and my creative journey. This substantial project came at just the right time for me – a time of change and profound instability. Given the size of the triptych and my enduring love for detail, I had plenty of time to reflect during the drawing process.

I was quite honest with myself, asking a series of questions, many of which I didn’t like the answers to. Instead of ignoring them, I embraced them, analyzed them, and strive to work on them. The questions asked and the sincere answers allow me to untangle the road home a little bit.

I must admit that if we rely on commonly accepted notions of the term “home,” I have a complicated relationship with it. I am one of those people who seemingly was born and raised “at home” but does not feel warmth in the soul from being there.
There has always been a sense that something is off, and a desire to expand the boundaries of this home, to find my harmonious path. The more I moved, the stronger this feeling of mismatch with home grew. Having visited and lived in different places, I approached and distanced myself from the feeling of home, but have yet to find it.

During my contemplation, I keenly felt that the place where I am now is also just a stop on my road home. I also realized that I am becoming more international, feeling more and more that I live on planet Earth, not just in an apartment in a specific city. This understanding and frame of reference significantly change my approach to life and the path.

Honestly, I made this discovery a long time ago and placed myself in such a coordinate system. I just now keenly feel that I am in the real world within it.

As for the creative road home, it remains just as tangled.

The only thing I know for sure is that the artist’s path is my path. It’s a very unreliable path and not as cheerful as it seems to those who are not immersed in this type of activity. Fortunately, I see some light at the end of the tunnel. Beyond this light, there are opportunities and a desire for growth, there are wonderful like-minded individuals and an endless road home. I will continue to walk along it, periodically analyzing my path and making the right turns when needed.

Original size: 7,5 x 2 m.

Materials: linen canvas, acryl